Am I Selfish ?

Had a discussion with my colleagues and manager over lunch today. Talked about morals and eventually talked about children.

One view parent's imposing their "ambitions" onto children as being alright ? Example used was Child tells Mother he wants to be a lawyer. Child's elder sister is already a lawyer. Mother says "I don't need 2 lawyers. I am not a criminal. But I would like to hae a doctor in the family. But it is alright. If you want really want to be a lawyer, mummy will support your decision"

Wow. In my mind I was thinking :

(1) Is it right to impose what you want, or what you hope to be onto your child ?

(2) Career is child's life. He may do it to please you when you are alive. To show filial piety. After you pass on, what is he going to do ? Suffer the rest of HIS life ? And hoping he will impose on HIS children to what he was able to ?

(3) I am selfish. I do what I like to do. I do not care about my parents. They are not going to feed me for life. I am.

(4) So who is more selfish. Me, or the parents who want their children to be what they (the parents) did not achieve ? I make my parents "suffer" for the 2nd half of their life ? Or the parents who make their children "suffer" for the rest of the children's lives ?

I do not know - Which is right, and which is wrong. Doing something for 10 minutes to please your parents is one thing. Doing it for the rest of your life is another.

Yes, I am selfish. That is also why I do not plan to have any children, so that I will not be forced to make these kinds of decisions.

Altruism in the absence of heaven

Read another article : Altruism in the absence of heaven

Excerpt :

But, you know, all religions are egoistic in their own way and this is where the dolphin story comes in again.

We are led to believe that humans need to be nourished in mind and spirit and our potential cultivated. Education, culture and religious instruction civilise us, otherwise we might be brutes. Heaven must be explained to us, that we may be motivated to be charitable to others, if not devout to the gods. Graciousness, sensibility, morality and yes, compassion, have to be taught.

But if altruism is compassion in action, and if dolphins could demonstrate this without schooling, civilisation, culture, religion or heaven, but merely because somehow we living things are hardwired to behave this way, then are teachers, statesmen, artists and priests overrated?

Wouldn't we humans still be altruistic even if there had been no heaven?

A bit too philosophical for my mind right now, since it is my bedtime. No comments, just wanted to share. I guess it is also because I am atheist ?

Damn Rich Americans....

Last night, I got to know of a friend, who might be migrating back to USA.

Let me give a little history, in case you are wondering why I said "migrating back".

His father is half-Thai, so I guess that makes him 1/4 Thai. His parents were US citizens.
They came to Singapore for holiday, when his mother was still pregnant with him. Little him realized that Singapore is a fine country, and decided to pop out way ahead of schedule.

Thus, that earned him his Singapore Citizenship. I realized also, last night, that his parent's have no choice but to accept that their son is a Singapore Citizen and has to fulfil his NS duties ; that or suffer the consequences of the whole family being banned from stepping into Singapore soil ever again. So he has come back to Singapore in time to serve is NS duties with the Home Team and has worked here ever since.

So here he is today, 27 years old, married for almost a year, staying in a brand new HDB flat in Punggol. He has applied to LAPD (not sure if it is indeed that PD) to be part of the homicidal detectives (and no, I do not mean detectives going around killing people). So he has to choose, within a month or so, whether to accept the offer.

He likes that job but is worried about his wife not willing to go over. He also has his house (less than 1 year) and his mother-in-law to worry about. But his pay will be able to let his wife not be working, yet still able to cover for the payments of his HDB, even if he can't sell it.

Yes, I asked and his offered package is US$150k per year.

To say I was surprised is an understatement. Now I know how prestigous an officer of the law is in the USA. I mean, granted their McDonald's meals and Krispy Kreme donuts are most probably 2.5 times what they cost here (with current currency exchange rate), their house and cars and land is going to be much cheaper.

He did mention that the price he is paying for his Punggol HDB flat, he is able to buy 2 houses (something that most Singaporeans can only dream of) in LA.

I mean, I am sure less than 10% of our Home Team earns more than S$150k !
And that is his starting pay ! He is still entitled to pension after 10 years - an amount that he doesn't wish to tell me, but says that it is "huge".


So did a check on LAPD Salary Scheme.
Assuming he has additional allowance based on language, and prior experiences in our Home Team, allowing him to go direct to a detective 3 or lieutenant, that is close to US$100k. Assuming he has "inflated" his package, putting in benefits and other allowances (hazard allowance, etc) to make the actual pay close to US$130k, which is also not far off.

Compare to our CNB pay and Singapore Home Team pay.

Even without currency conversion, it is pathetic.

Of course, we have to factor in the risk involved. Being an officer here is a sissy compared to a simple constable in LA.

But still...Damn Rich Americans... Damn... Even their police constable earns more than I do.. damn...

Last Christmas, I gave you my.....

Another Christmas has come and gone.

I find myself getting chronologically older and I am feeling older too.
Gone are the days of count-down parties, continuous boozing and dancing in clubs. Now I yawn when the time nears midnight. I have become Cinderella... well, sort of...

Gathering with colleagues and friends. Conversations that touch on the sensitive and the taboo. Trying to fathom issues that range from puppy love to meaning of life.

As usual, people have different opinion, beliefs and goals in life. Sometimes we just cannot understand opposing values or viewpoints. Sometimes, try as we might, we just cannot understand why some people behave or react the way they do.

We start to realize that we are walking further away from each other, along our chosen paths.
We start to realize that we have all changed and sometimes became unrecognizable.
We start to realize that deep down in our core, we are different and somehow, we feel more alienated when we get older.
We start to wonder why these differences did not affect us when we were younger.

Ok, probably it is just me doing all these realizations and wondering.

Still, is it because when we were younger, the "physical" differences in our core and our goals are not that obvious ? I mean, we were all young, single, living off parents, and nothing to our names. Now that we are older, we can actually "see" and "feel" the differences and the impact is greater ?

Or are we more "hardened" in our mindset and as we grow older, we know what we want and what we do not want. That in turn produces more "hard" feelings towards these differences ?

Whatever it is, all I know is

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,
But the very next day, you gave it away.

This year, and the year after, I will do it again,
Until I fill the world with my heart.




Merry Christmas ! I hope that every life that I have touched has become better.

My love-hate relationship with Australia

Throughout my life so far, I have always wanted to have a chance to work in another country. One of the main reason is at least a chance to migrate if I liked it.

The first opportunity I had was Australia. Sydney in particular. Was there in 1998, for an aggregate of 1 month. Was able to see the work, leisure and family life of people there. Went around town. Got to know Singaporeans who are studying and working there too. Had a feel of family-oriented lifestyle, partying lifestyle and generally soaking in the atmosphere.

Quite like the Sydney feel. I do not feel that much discrimination (or maybe it was too short to feel the subtle discriminations). Love the Cosmopolitan lifestyle. Chance to own nice houses and land.

Was given the opportunity to work there, full-time. However, due to some politics and managerial influence, the opportunity was taken away from me. I could have fought for it, but I guess at that time, I had someone I am committed and it is not easy to choose. That, and I only had a short time to decide.

The second opportunity was not so obvious. Took place over a drinking session. I am sure the manager of our Sydney branch was a bit high, and spoke too honestly. Brushed it aside, and did not want to pursue the lead, as it also conflicts with my current career directions.

The third opportunity was in-line with my career directions and my objectives. Again, personal commitment got in the way, in part. The other main part was the insecurity of the entire deal - setting up a new company in Australia.

So there you have it, in a nutshell. I guess the timing just wasn't right, or maybe I was just looking for excuses. I really do not know. I think I value personal commitments more, as it is more tangible at the time.

No regrets, so far. Maybe, there will be other opportunities. Maybe not. I just have to make the best out of everything I have, and not ask for too much.

I have to know what is closer to my heart and what is more important, especially if I have to choose again next time.

Some hidden part of me has grown bigger .. Guess which part ?

Haha.. Got your attention now ?

Recently, I have realised that I am becoming impatient with others, and that I do not "respect" that many people's opinion anymore.

In the past, I used to hang on to every word that anyone care to enlighten me. Be it sharing their views on meaning of life, their views on politics, their quests for success, their opinion of renowned figures.

I used to think "Wow. They have opinions. I can't even write a simple GP essay on this topic."

Yes, when I was young, I have a huge inferiority complex. Maybe it is due to lack of size in certain part of me. I used to think I am useless and everyone else is so much better than me in everything.

Until recently....

Sitting down, eating a tub if ice-cream as I am writing this, I am thinking that I do not care about people's opinion as much anymore. I am even more vocal to my manager, whom I think the world of 5 years ago. I dare to contradict him.

Even to other friends and colleagues around me. I am more honest, not worrying so much about trying to please everyone. Say what I think, and even if someone contracts my opinion, I do not feel that I am wrong and he/she is right.

So, either I have amassed a certain amount of knowledge now and my self-esteem has just caught up, or a part me has just grown bigger and made me an unabashed.

I still have not decided which. Need more time to re-examine myself. It could also be that I am just going through the tired phase of learning so many things, that I just want a mental break.













Oh, and that part of me that has grown - my Ego. What were you thinking ?

Racial Transparency

Had a talk with a friend last week. Somehow, we touched on Racial harmony.
My friend asked, do we have racial harmony ? Or just racial tolerance ?

I immediately came up with the term "Racial Transparency". Of course, he laughed. But today, I have time to justify my theory of this term.

When we are young, when we go to primary and secondary schools, we are taught racial tolerance. We have classes of mixed race. But we are supposed to wear the same uniforms. We are not allowed to "dye" our hair. We are not allowed to wear religous articles (remember the recent incidents of the tudung ?) . We are taught that regardless of our skin colour, we are all the same, all equal. Thus, hoping to indoctrinate Racial Harmony.

Look around us today. I look at my group of friends around me. Yes, we have friends of other race. We know of army friends who are of different race. But, our close knit of friends, the people whom we call "buddies", "brothers", "sisters", etc. How many are of different race ?

I have to admit, my work environment 94.5% Chinese (other than the 2 temporary workers). My friends are all Chinese. My "buddies" and "brothers" are all Chinese. Do I know any Malays ? Of course ! I have a number in my phone book. Are they close friends ? No.

What is happening here ? Am I a closet racist ?
Of course, there are people who have close friends of different race. I do not deny that they exist. Just that they are not the majority.

My theory ? Very simple. By indoctrinating uniformity in school when young, it creates the idea of "non-diversity". We are taught that no matter what skin colour, we are still the same. Because we dress the same. We speak English (remember your Speak Good English campaign in school?) We are discouraged from speaking in "mother-tongue" (that is another term that I shall talk about another time) except for a few weeks of "Speak Mother-tongue Campaign".

So since young, we are taught to ignore differences. I was not taught how to accept Malay and Indians into my life. I am not taught about their religion. I am taught that "We are the SAME".

When we grow older, going into Tertiary education. We all wear what we like. No more uniforms. Suddenly, that was when I have to learn about "diversity". That they are different ; And I do not know how to accept that in my mind. They become strange. Because all these while, I have never taught about the meaning of wearing a tudung. I have never expected them to be so different. We are not the same anymore. (You can see that I only refer to tudung, because I still do not know what the Indians wear. See ? What do I know about the various races ? Nothing !)

And worse, in order not to be seen as a racial bigot, I do not ask why they do what they do. All I do is accept that they are like that. Without understanding. Without empathy.

And we are never taught how to accept diversity. We are taught how to BE the same. To behave in certain accepted way.

So am I surprised that our generation of Singaporeans cannot accept things that are different ? Different views, different beliefs, different ways of life, different car-park systems ?

Hence the term Racial Transparency. I was taught that these things are just transparent and to learn to ignore, rather than embrace differences.

Where is the Conservative Majority ?

Snowball 2004 is banned. Their party for the past few years have attracted many gay people attending.

I mean, sure, gays also celebrate Christmas and New Year right ? And the organizers have businesses in the Pink Dollar industry.

So, Pro-gay company, organizing a party => gay oriented, targetting gay audience.
And the authorities have noticed many people of the same sex kissing and groping in the parties. And that many people use the "makeshift toilet" of the opposite sex.

Thus, this is a gay party, and gay party is against our conservative majority. So, this year, the PEL (Public Entertainment License) is not granted.

Oh, and if I remembered correctly, the public wanted Nation 04 to banned too, because gay people cannot be part of the National Day Celebration. It will be a shame to Singapore. I remember one member of the public writing that into the ST Forum. Though I did not quote verbatim.

For the gays, I have one suggestion. Start attend all Parties, and any other celebration, and start behaving intimately. Using the same argument, sooner or later, the police will have to everything, because it attracts gays.

Oh, I've never wanted to attend any of those parties either.

*~*~*~*~*

On the other hand, our "conservative majority" must be able to accept Casino in Singapore. Afterall, those who voiced against the idea must be the minority. We are mature society, able to handle gambling. Right ? Right ?

Yeah, the government is still not decided, but just asking for proposals from various companies on having the Casino. The government is still "evaluating". Riiiiiight.. Suuuuuureee... We all know what that means.


*~*~*~*~*


So what is the parallel between these 2 separate events ?

(1) People who voice out are not exactly the majority.

In fact, I believe the majority carries this "anything lor, doesn't affect me" kind of attitude. Ask your colleagues, friends and people around you for an informal poll. Ask about Snowball and they say "they can do what they want lor. Just don't disturb me." So, does Snowball 04 disturb them ? Usually no. Don't like it, just don't attend. Afterall, they also eat, work, sleep and party, just like everyone else.

These people do not voice out to the government. They just go about running their lives doing what they feel is right. They do not march or write-in to tell the goverment that gays should have their party. They also do not write-in to tell the government that gays parties should be banned. Why ? They just simply "ignore" these things.

The majority I find are quite open-minded. In a sense that they know diversities exist. They might not be actively interested in knowing and understanding these diversities, but they do not pretend to live in a homogeneous world either.

Only those conservative few, usually with religious dogma, make the most noise.

(2) The government is still in a "we have decided what to do, and will implement it, no matter what the people say".

They have decided to ban Snowball. That's it. No appeal will change the outcome.
They have deicded to have a Casino. That's it. No FACT can change the outcome.

"Conservative Majority" is just a convenient excuse. Afterall, how do they actually measure the majority, when the majority prefers to stay silent ?

I am not a Sadist...

I am sad to say, contrary to what I want to be, I am not a sadist.

It happened today. The grilling and the bad news. In front of the whole dept.

I wasn't gloating. I wasn't happy. I didn't feel satisfaction. I don't know why.
Maybe the mood was sombre. Maybe it was the pot calling the kettle black.
Maybe I am not as much a sadist as I hope I would be. I have too much emphathy and emotions in me and that made me more vulnerable that what I want to be - strong, determined.

But as my friend would say, being brave is not about having no-fear. It is about managing fear and yourself.

So maybe, to be strong and determined, it does not mean I have to be emotionless. It just means I have to manage my emotions. But it is sure harder, than if I were just a sadist bastard.

The Authorities Listen...

Have not had much creative juice flowing out these few days, as I am fully occupied with meetings and entertainment that saps most of my energy.

Heard from a good friend today, that our bitching about the language of SMRT signs and annoucements was heard.

Anyway, what we have been talking about is the famous "No Eating and Drinking allowed".
They have changed it to "No Eating or Drinking allowed".

Well, I am sure they didn't hear us bitch. Maybe some English teacher wrote to them or something like that. Or they are getting too many rebuttals of "But I am ONLY eating, but NOT drinking !" from offenders.

Impact of My Car ...

No, I am not writing about any traffic accident.

After having (I shall refrain from using the word "owning") a car for exactly 4 months (as of today), I shall describe how it has changed my life.

For better or worse, to each his own. But I shall list down mine.

Pluses :
(1) Waking up slightly later for work
(2) Avoid idiotic public transport crowds (Snorers, Loud-Phone-Talkers, Screaming Kids running around, Occupy-a-larger-than-expected-space-and-declaring-it-personal-assholes)
(3) Meet up with friends at anytime at my convenience
(4) Visit places that are not easily accessible by public transport
(5) Talk freely and behave freely while travelling from point to point, without disturbance

Minuses :
(1) High cost
(2) Parking woes
(3) No/Limited Alcohol consumption

Overall, I would say I at the moment, the Pluses wins. Basically more "Freedom" in some ways, at the expense of other "freedom". But with my current situation, I would say I am still comfortable.

No Regrets - Hope things stays this way, or even better, in future..

Happenings at Workplace

Today is the 2nd day of my company's World Wide Manager's Meeting. Was coerced to attending the meetings (sit through mostly useless presentations) and attending dinner. Yes - eat, chat, booze.

On the other more "exciting" side, the colleague whom will be transferred away from my dept, has been told to give another presentation on Thursday. I think my manager wants all of us to be the bad guy....

And on the scary side, next year's quota, and package are yet to be determined. Not sure what to expect. Better ? Worse ? I would hate to see a closely knit dept (well, almost all) being forced into breakup.

Attempt to be Lame

Today I am not feeling too well. Think I am coming down with the 'flu virus. Trying to keep it at bay. Next week is important, because it is World-Wide manager's meeting for my company. Need to "show face".

Weekend is a little bored so I shall attempt to be lame and be a bimbo.

Yesterday I just bought a new phone. Hee hee. Cost me $0.. After my voucher from M1, and trading in my old phone, and using points from my credit card. Got the Sony Ericsson K700i. Cool, I quite like it. Much better than my previous T610.

Its silver. And can take Photos and Videos. *Acts Cute*. Can play MP3 as Ringtone, and built-in FM Radio. Oh oh, has speaker phone too, so that I can conference call with my friends to gossip.. *Acts bimbo*

Ok.. Forgive me for all these nonsense. must be my medication. But, not everything I write has to be intellectual right ? Afterall, many popular blogs out there are just about trival stuff too.

My Insecurities

I am expecting huge changes in my pay structure next year.
Quota for next year is incredibly high.
My friend has just resigned from his job.

Maybe it was too early to have gotten the car.
Just made myself more "insecure" , and more "fearful" for my job.
If I do not like the changes next year, will I have the guts and strength to "take a risk" ?

Long time ago, tried to reduce financial commitments, so as to reduce my stress and "freedom" in jobs. Procrastinating and trying to stop myself from buying cars and house and stuff.

Now that I have done the deed, I can actually feel it instead of just imagining it.

Lesson in life : Sometimes it pays to really listen to the logical side of you. You don't have to try everything once.

Someone Ruined my Fun

Someone leaked the news to my colleague that he might not be in sales much longer.
Damn. Can't see his face in shock anymore.
Spoilt my fun.

I am a poor man !

(This post is removed on request - 19 June 2008)

I actually quoted a news article and made some comments...

Someone emailed me all of a sudden to remove this post because of some painful memories. Like 4 years after I posted this.

It actaully took me a while to realize the "spam" was referring to this old post...

Not that I felt the request was in anyway right..

I was tempted to tell the person(s) to bugger off and not read my blog anyway. Not like I put my blog in his/her/their face and forced him/her/them to read it...

But hey, this post isn't a crucial 'spirit' of my personality, so no harm to me either. That is usually my style, for things that I feel can be "right" or "wrong".. If it doesn't matter much to me, hope it benefits someone else I guess.

And it is not like I have a lot of readers or something..

I think no one, except the person(s) who emailed me, would even notice this post is gone...

And my advise to the person(s) reading this :

Life is made up of good and bad, happiness and sadness. Remembering a loved one, is about remembering everything, not just the good.

Trying not to be reminded of the painful things, is like trying to forget a part of the one we loved...

Sometimes, it might seem easier to try to forget, but I think that is just the easy way out...

But whatever the situation is, I wish all of you well.




I only left this last portion as a reminder to myself what my post actually was about :


Me - 31 years old - <$5k+
... if someone tried to cheat my money, that is.

From the above statistics, the younger, the richer...
Time to change my target age.

Marriage good, Children bad... for Mental Health

Saw it in Streats free-paper today, but not on their web site, so I have to type the whole thing :

Marriage helps Mental Health

Singles drink more, are more mentally distressed : study

Sydney - Singles are more likely to be psychologically disturbed and drink more alcohol than married people in the long term, according to a British study.

But being a heavy drinker while younger also made a person more likely to marry.

"It came as a bit of a surprise," Australian Noational University researcher Bryan Rodgers told a forum on mental health in Canberra on Monday.

"I suspect in younger people, drinking is linked to more social activities and it is probably how they get to meet their partners in the first place," he was quoted by The Australian newspaper as saying.

The study of more than 10,000 British people aged between 23 and 33 found higher levels of psychological disturbance and alcohol consumption among singles. The results also applied to those who are divorced or separated.

Once married, the drinkers tend to cut their drinking, said Dr. Rodgers. And those who remained single maintained their levels.

So over the long term, married people drank less than singles.

Having children, however, had a negative impact on women's mental health with separated and divorced mothers being more psychologically distressed than women who have been married at one time or another.

However, a recent study on co-habitation suggests that while marriage is good for men's mental health, live-in relationship is better for women's happiness.

A study of nearly 4,500 men and women in the UK revealed that men and women who stick with their first enduring relationship enjoy good mental health, New Scientist reported recently.

And where men recover from serial break-ups, women fare much worse, the same study showed.

In fact, women may be better off staying single than to have loved and lost, said Professor Michaela Benzeval of the University of London, who conducted the research. "The lack of protection of the financial and property rights, and hence the security of cohabiting couples when they separate may explain why women who cohabit have poorer mental health than women who marry," Prof Benzeval said.

She also said that single women who never married or moved in with a partner also showed good mental health, in contrast to single men.


*~*~*~*

Wow ! I am single, and cohabiting. I should be psychologically disturbed.

In order to elevate my happiness and mental health, I should get married. I am feeling so sad now..

What about you ? Should you be happy ?

Wonderful Invention called Rotary Engines

Yes, now I am back to talking about cars instead of just bitching about my colleagues and manager.

Haven't really understood the amazing invention called rotary engine, as compared to the usual V-shaped, In-line or Boxer engines. Those 3 are quite similar in principle, and quite "straight-forward" in term so technicalities.

Rotary engine, is totally different, and with the same rated displacement, it is actually twice as powerful.

Learn all about it here.

Condoms only 85 percent effective - not true!

I just "hate it" when people hijack issues, put in their moral grounds, and perpetuate their dogma onto others. Worse when they do it without letting you know.

Condoms only 85 percent effective - not true!

Tells of how statistics in scientific studies are misquoted or misinterpreted by non-statistically trained people.

From 99% effectiveness, to less than 85% :

...(snipped)...

These studies followed sero-discordant, sexually active heterosexual couples over a period of time. 'Sero-discordant' meant that at the start of the studies, one partner was HIV-positive and the other HIV-negative.

...(snipped)...

In layman's language:

For every 100 couples having sex repeatedly through the course of a year, using condoms every time, only 0.9 persons sero-converted to HIV-positive.

(This suggests that if you are HIV-negative, and with the consistent benefit of condoms, you had sex with an HIV-positive person over a 100-year period, your chance of being HIV-positive after 100 years would be 0.9%.)

For every 100 couples having sex repeatedly through the course of a year, but never used condoms, 6.7 of the initially HIV-negative partners, sero-converted to HIV-positive.

And where's the "85 percent" in all this? By this mathematical formula:

(6.7-0.9)/6.7 = 0.85

What the researchers said was that the condom-protected couples, with their 0.9 sero-conversion rate, had an 85% lower likelihood of getting HIV compared to the no-condom couples. They didn't mean to say that if you used a condom you still had a 15% chance of getting AIDS.

Your chances of actually getting HIV, with consistent, correct condom use is estimated to be less than 1% even after a hundred years of sex.

Words of the day

Here I am, at 2am on Monday morning, have to get to work in less than 7 hours' time, yet unable to sleep.

Been reading, and came across 2 new words :

cavil

/kavv’l/

• verb (cavilled, cavilling; US caviled, caviling) make petty objections.

• noun a petty objection.

— ORIGIN Latin cavillari, from cavilla ‘mockery’.


viscera

/viss ere/ (click link above to see actual pronunciation. Can't get the letter in.)

• plural noun (sing. viscus) the internal organs in the main cavities of the body, especially those in the abdomen.

— ORIGIN Latin, plural of viscus.


Haha.. I was reading an article of someone's description of "Kway Chap", something that he didn't like.


Oh, and this :

organ

• noun 1 a distinct part of an animal or plant adapted for a particular function, for example the heart or kidneys. 2 a large musical keyboard instrument with rows of pipes supplied with air from bellows. 3 a smaller keyboard instrument producing similar sounds electronically. 4 a newspaper or periodical which puts forward the views of a political party or movement. 5 euphemistic a man’s penis.



Pig innards are the main attraction at food court stalls with signs saying "Kway chap" or "Pig organ soup".

The latter always suggests to me the poor animal's penis and testicles, not viscera, and I am not wrong, for the error is in the bad English that is found all over Singapore. The pig's organ does mean the genitals. The viscera are the pig's organs (note the plural), and thus the signs should read "Pig organs soup".

The missing letter "s" makes all the difference, but how many Singaporeans with their shoddy English can even spot this?

What is a rat race ?

I have an incomplete understand of the term "Rat Race". I always thought it means in the process of working to earn money. And that the only way out is to be financially independent.

Encountered 2 of my colleagues using this term recently, and so, being my usual self, I checked it out in my favourite Oxford dictionary :

rat race

• noun informal a way of life in which people are caught up in a fiercely competitive struggle for wealth or power.

As long as you are contended with your job and don't aim for too much, you can still be working at a day job, earning a decent day's pay, not be financially independent, but still free from the rat race.

Damn, with this new definition, I am still in a rat race, though not for the power.

Hmm.. Ok.. Everyday I find my level of knowledge getting worse.. Time for me not to be so opinionated and verify my facts. Ha Ha

Scary Financial Stuff

Reading today's papers. Investment/money section, where advisors answer readers' questions. Always have some people who do things that scare the shit out of me :

Dec 5, 2004
She shopped till she dropped...under a pile of debt

Q A FEW years ago, I was suffering from depression and I went on a shopping spree every day. Soon my banks came after me. A few months later, I managed to pay back some money. Then I began paying the minimum required every month.

I got married three years ago and stopped working. Some time later, my husband was not able to continue paying the minimum on my debt.

I owed two banks about $22,000 plus interest and legal fees. One of the banks served me with a statutory demand but did not sue me after the deadline had passed.

The other bank seized some of my personal effects for auction a few months ago and I've not heard from them since. Is there a time period for the bank to sue?

I'm thinking of working again. Do I have to inform the prospective employer about my debts?

If I get a job and choose not to pay the banks, can they freeze my bank account?

I'm now separated and have two children to support so I can't afford to pay the bank even if I'm working.


How do people spend money like that without thinking of how to repay ? I mean, doesn't it scares them that they have no savings for old age ? It sure scares the hell out of me, not having enough money to retire and have to pick rubbish to sell.


*~*~*~*~*

Q MY BACHELOR cousin died, leaving behind a Housing Board flat. He has no other assets except for a few hundred dollars in a bank. He owed several credit card companies almost $100,000. My uncle is not working, thus he is using legal aid to apply for the letters of administration.

Now, the banks have lodged a caveat against his application. What can my uncle do?

He definitely cannot pay off the debt. Should he declare himself a bankrupt to solve this problem?


Wow. How the heck do you choke up $100k of debt ? Even all my credit limits added together cannot get half of that !

I know, many things in this world, I will never get to understand. This is just one of them.

My Childhood - Part 4

The other thing I can remember is entrepreneurship. It was 1984, way before any programmes by the government to promote entrepreneurship. I was in primary 5. Somehow, someone started a newsletter, writing stories, riddles and news reports of what’s going on in school. Sold it for 50 cents a copy. Neat. And as usual, our idea of entrepreneurship is to emulate what is working – thus we each started our own magazine, recruiting our own writers, artists, and printers.

After a few magazines and newsletters were out, I decided to take the risk of starting my own business. Recruited a classmate, borrowed my mum’s typewriter and we spent the weekends writing up stories and copying jokes and riddles off books that we borrowed from the library. Well, we did not know about plagiarism, copyright and MITA then, so spare me the lecture. We just typed, drew, and photocopied.

Once we get to it, we are thinking like businessmen, even without all the training. We tried direct marketing – sending out subscription forms to our classmates and friends from other classes. We tried advertising – putting out notices about what’s in the next issue. We tried wholesaling – giving discounts to friends who are interested to resell to earn profits. We even thought about cost cutting - got my mum to copy them at her work place, so we do not need to pay for photocopying.

Primary school education came and went. By primary 6, I was forever getting poor results. Ranked the bottom 30% of the entire cohort. Ranked the bottom 20% in my class. Very quickly, it was PSLE. Didn’t felt very confident of my performance. Then it was time to choose my secondary school.

My father, as usual, wanted me to go to a good secondary school. We had 6 choices, and he chose SAP schools for the first 3. High expectations. My results came back a few months later – 245 points, with A’s for English, Chinese and Science, A* for Mathematics. (I am not bragging. Just going to bring out the irony about my capabilities in Mathematics in later chapters of my life.)

So, I landed up in the secondary school of our 4th choice – Queenstown Secondary Technical School. (Today, it is known as Queenstown Secondary School)

My Childhood - Part 3

A year later, I was to go to primary school. Nanyang Primary School was the school my father wanted me to go to. He queued for several days, but there was no vacancy for me. The principal told him to try other schools, but he insisted and stayed and waited for several days in school, sitting in the office, waiting for someone to withdraw. However, even the waiting list was very long. Finally, after 3 days, someone did withdraw and because my father was waiting outside, the principal , touched my father’s determination, gave the vacancy me.

Few months later, I was to take the school bus to school, accompanied by my mother. When I went into the classroom, I saw many of my classmates. They had their mothers with them too. The teacher came in and started to get us kids together. An hour of so later, almost all the kids are still constantly looking for their parents. Some of the parents left quietly and some of the kids started to cry. Boy, they sure are noisy for their age.

I looked for my mother, but she wasn’t there. I was sad, but remembered what my father told me the day before. He said I should be a big boy and show the rest of the kids that I should be a good example for them, that I should be independent. Somehow, that didn’t work quite well, for I had tears in my eyes for a few minutes (ok, so it was about half an hour, but I didn’t cry out loud !) before I turned my attention back to my teacher.

In the next few days, lesser and lesser parents were seen at our windows. Pretty soon, all the kids somehow got used to the teacher and the school. I was usually a shy boy and didn’t mix around much. Didn’t talk to anyone except those that came to talk to me, or those few sitting around me.

By the end of the year, I know everyone in my class of 40. Exams and tests came and went. Being typically ‘kiasu’ and pressured by parents, I studied very hard and always came out first 5 in class and aggregate of over 90% for every subject.

At primary 3, I started to deteriorate. Either I became stupid or the rest of the kids became clever. Either way, my results dropped to the 70% level and position in class is always last 15. I became disheartened and so were my parents. They began to put more pressure on me. Try as I might, but still I couldn’t do much better.

This deterioration went on. I was considered one of the not so bright kids in the school. My parents began to think that I was playing too much, going out too much. In the end, when I was in primary 4, they tried to control my activities, limit my play time, supervised me in my studies, giving me tests of their own. I became very quiet, anti-social, studious, hardworking, dull…

I was short, fair and a quiet guy. And now stupid. Target of choice by physical bullies as well as intellectual bullies. As days go by, I felt pressurized and doubts on whether I can make it in school, whether I can make it in this world…

Flash Disk - 1 : Washing Machine - 0

For a week, I thought I had lost my USB Flash Disk. Some of you call it a "Thumb Drive", but "Thumb Drive" is registered trademark of Trek, and I am not using theirs.

Found it in my pants pocket. It survived a whole soap-wash-rinse-spin cycle in the washing macine, and hours under the sun, and hours in the wardrobe.

Plugged in, it still works, with my data all intact.

Wow ! Time for me to wash my dirty keyboard and mouse in the washing machine. Heck, I think my CD-ROM is dirty, can't play some of my CDs. Maybe I should wash that too...

Bet with a Friend

Had a bet with a friend. And I am just documenting this.
Today, Chartered stock price is $1.07.

My friend's bet is, from now to 31st May 2004, Chartered stock price will reach $1.24.
The value of the bet is simply a McDonald's Extra Value Meal.

My bet is that it will NOT rise so much in that time.

I am "Opiniated"

My manager said that I have changed (in front of everyone). That I am more "opiniated" (he pronounced it as oh-pee-nee-ay-turd) than before. That I have to "watch out" and not to be too extreme. In fact, he did say that I was a little extremely "opiniated".

First of all, it is opinionated. Pronounced as "AH P IH N Y AH N EY T IH D"

I tend to disagree that I am opinionated. Just because I usually let him win in most discussions, that I show "respect" to his opinions ? Nowadays, I am more daring at challenging his concepts. I am now more opinionated ? It should be that I am more vocal. My opinions are still there, and still the same.

After a quick check with Oxford's dictionary, seems like he is right (though I am sure it is coincidental) :

opinionated

• adjective assertively dogmatic in one’s views.

dogmatic

• adjective inclined to impose dogma; firmly asserting personal opinions as true.

So, in theory, simply by being more assertive instead of being "Yes, sir, you are right", I am being more opinionated. Wow ! I so hate it when he is right, again.

I am sure if I ask him the meaning of opinionated, I am willing to be $5 that he will say "A person who has opinions".

Oh well, like an obsure saying I heard somewhere "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." I usually do not impose my "asshole" onto others.

And if I want to hear an asshole speak, I would have farted...

Owww. My poor eyes

Spent 1 hour reading someone's block. White words on black background.
All I can say is owww...

Try it sometimes. Getting the blurry vision of excitement without the hangover.



On other news, I resolve to get more emotionally detached to my workplace politics, and just view it like I would a TV program minus the emotions.

Let's see if I can stick with my resolution.

Sadistic Me

I discovered something in me today.

Today is 1st Dec 2004. A day that someone in my company is supposed to be classified as a failure and kicked out of my dept and transferred to another. Considered a "demotion".

I realized I was a little happier today. No, don't ask me why.
Yes, it was the same guy that I consoled in West Coast McDonalds.
Yes, I was a little pissed off at him. (Not as much as some of my other colleagues were, who kenna "saboed" because of him.)

No, I didn't know why I am so happy..Maybe the fact that I do not like his attitude is one thing.. Maybe the speculation that he doesn't see it coming yet, is another.

Ooooo.. the joy of seeing his face when he receives the news....
Ooooo.. I am such as sadist.